You guys have both been helpful
One problem right now is that the school did not put anything about being gifted or special academic accommodations into the IEP. They also said he does not meet their criteria for gifted as he "Did not complete the IQ test", even though their psych gave him a score above the cutoff. Because it is GAI and he only completed 5 sections they won't count the score. They have not offered in any way to allow him to finish the test. And even if they did my understanding is that he couldn't really score lower than the GAI he currently has (it would still be calculated from the same subtests, right?) and since he can't do a timed test (ADHD and tics have him distracted more often than not) there is no option of an FSIQ.
My son is not a slow thinker though. He is slow to realize someone said something to him. Slow to hear what it was (I repeat everything at least 3 times, but only until I get his attention and get a conversation going). Slow to get around to answering (usually because he runs around the room 5 times before even starting to think about answering). But he talks fast and when he starts on something he does it quickly, right up until he gets distracted. He's quick at math and puzzles and thinks fast when making up stories or playing the DnD type game his dad made up for him. When he is well regulated and calm (maybe 5% of his life) he shows very good ability to think and do things quickly. This is never going to show up on the IQ test.
The peeing his pants thing is definitely him not knowing far enough ahead that he needs to go combined with waiting to the last second because he hates to stop what he is doing. He rarely has a full accident, just enough that he needs new undies. Usually he has a few weeks without accidents and then a week with accidents multiple times a day. Those weeks are bad for everything.
He was potty trained for poop entirely by 2.5, but pee has been an ongoing problem. I pulled him out of OT and PT a few months ago. He was miserable there and neither was able to help with any of our issues anyway. I'm still looking into finding a new OT and just giving up on the PT. It was way too discouraging for my son because the stuff they wanted him to do was hard and he kept failing and he hates failing.
The school district won't give him speech, so I guess I could look for private again. My issue is that all of the private people I have found so far don't work on the pragmatic stuff or don't take our insurance. Speech is $60 plus for half an hour, so a real investment to go enough to see any improvement.
I love the idea for the idiom box and the riddles. I think my son will like both of those activities and I know his dad will.
So, I guess it really is possible for a kid to be gifted and occasionally frustratingly dense? I'm waiting for the magical age this all gets easier
Don't tell me it doesn't exist, I need to believe that it does and that it's not too far off!
