I'm glad that you've already got an official 'rule-out' for ADHD. Our schools also couldn't belief that there want's 'something wrong with him.' Here in the US, I don't think there is such a thing as ruling-out ADHD, my hunch is that the schools here would demand a re-evaluation to see if the child has developed it later.
I'm glad to hear that you are keeping a diary.
I really upsets me that schools here do all kinds of things that feed into a kid being 'full of himself' and 'expecting to be the center of attention' and then turn around and blame the Mothers.
Such as - giving a child work with is clearly below their readiness level, then being delighted when the child does well, and praising the child for work that didn't require any effort.
Such as - being charmed with the 'little adult performer' and giving them more than their share of attention when they are little and cute. Then a few years later being freaking out and upset by their class clown.
I guess there are no easy answers.
Good news is that it sounds like he will be amoung the youngest in the class when he starts school.
Good news is that you understand him.
Good news is that the 3s do have a gifted program (although don't be too suprised if it turns out not to be enough - there are levels of giftedness - and they matter)
I'd reccomend that next week when school ends, you sit down and explain that now that he is past 'preschool' he must be a big boy and sit with you for 15 minutes a day doing hard school work.
Based on what I didn't do and the results I got with my own little male, interested in adult attention, HG+ extrovert I would reccomend that you make it fun, but right at the high end of his readiness level.
You are his only hope for the next few years to preserve his love of learning, his self-respect and respect for adults. If you want him to have a work ethic, you are going to have to be the one to provide the organized structure. Find some part of your routine that is regular, M-F, so that you can say, for example, After dinner we put the dishes in the sink to soak, and then sit at the table and practice Math facts for 5 minutes, handwriting for 5 minuites,vocabulary from a second language for 5 minutes. If he wants to introduce a different topic it's plenty ok to spend time with him learning together about fasinating new topics and following his lead, but let that be AFTER Mommy's time, not instead, and use your Mom Capitol to defend your agenda, but not the stuff he introduces.
Don't be afraid to build up his mental muscles for jobs that are dull and where he isn't in charge.
See Sylvia Rimm's writing for more details.
hope that helps. You probably are already doing similar. I have no doubt that you will be ready mentally for what the schools can through at you, but unless UK schools are quite different from US ones, I would like to save you some of the emotional turmoil that come with the 'they just don't get it' thing. School here know that they aren't going to go away, and that we are - so time is one their side.
I also wish someone could have shown me my future and convinsed me of the need for a small but dedicated part of the day for building mental muscles. My son really was being influenced by his preschool in ways I had no idea of, and if I could have counteracted that by insisting on being the leader at home with 10 or 15 minutes of drill, I think he would have grown into the kind of kid that they schools were better able to understand and handle, and he would have been happier in the elementary years. He also would have had much better trust in himself - more solid on the inside.
Sisterly hugs
grinity
