He is bored rigid but as I have no evidence to show school I am unable to approach them. ... I am counting the days to school.
SweetieRachi,
I think that if it's possible to move him to a different preschool were he won't be so bored, he will behave better. Of course you still have to teach him what's acceptable, but my hunch is that he HATES his agemates, and is acting out. Can you keep him home until school starts? Even if he has to watch TV while you take care of your parents, I think that is preferable to him getting engraved habits of mistreating the other kids at preschool when your aren't around.
I guess it's worth it to sit down with the preschool teachers and outline the specific behaviors you are seeing and ask if they also see this.
When my DS11 was in daycare, the 4 year old room, the teacher was complimenting my son for his politeness.
My eyes bulged, and in the next moment, my son got up from his seat, ran to the teacher, who was then talking to another child, and bellowed: "EXCUSE ME" because he wanted her attention RIGHT NOW. That didn't suprise me, because that's the kind of kid he was. The teacher smiles and looked at me and said, 'See, he's so polite, he always says 'please' and 'excuse me.'
My point is that what I percieved as highly inappropriate was actually getting reinforced at school, and that year's teacher would not have thought to bring this to my attention as a problem.
Other year's teachers did complain that 'They have X other children in the room, and DS demands more than his share of their time.' At the time, I brushed that off as the teacher's problem - I mean, isn't that their job to divide their own attention? How was I supposed to teach him to want less interaction at home? Should we have practice ignoring sessions? I had had hopes that early participation at day care would substitute for the experience of having siblings and prevent him from being a 'spoiled only child.' (Thankfully I've learned a bit about the unfair steriotypes of only children since then, but I've learned a lot of things.)
Looking back with some understanding of Giftedness, perhaps the teachers were the only ones in the room who could actually respond when he spoke.
- so - where was i? - oh yeah -
You can certianly demonstrate to the schools that you child is advanced in his learning needs without an IQ test. Most Schools hate IQ tests anyway. You need to find out what the expected learning skills are for kids in Kindergarden, First and Second grade. Then you need to see
1) what he already knows
2) what he could learn with just a bit of introduction
Elementary school isn't about deep thought - it's about learning various skills. If you want a happy child, you are going to need to get him with peers that he enjoys. One option is an private gifted school - many have financial aid. Another option is a grade skip. If you son can already do the Kindy, and much of the 1st grade skills, then consider letting him start school in 1st grade.
Go to the bookstores, look at the workbooks for the various grades and subjects. If you want to impress teachers, you want a kid who is reading, can tell time and add. See if you can get 'Handwriting without tears' through your library. You can document his abilities if you can 'speak their language.' See if you can make friends with a teacher and get access to their 'scope and sequence' for the grades. It may be publically availible on their website. Remember that what you want, and what the school wants is an happy, emotionally healthy child. Your job is to make a case that in order for your son to be that, he needs a reasonable academic fit.
I'm really worried that Kindy won't be the answer to your troubles, in fact if his hopes are up for actually learning something in 'real school' you may get even more behavior than you have now! School get quite confused by this behavior, so try to help them see your child in ways that they can recognise as 'high achieving.'
Love and More Love,
Grinity
