Maybe I misread? I thought the OP was talking about not being allowed to join things due to age? Yes, we were lucky that the one librarian allowed him to attend but the general attitude at the library is that it is just not done, that only the age matters and not the fit of the program. I have found this to be the case in 95% of the things we would like to join. This was the one time we were lucky. So I wanted to give the OP some hope that sometimes a second person looks at the issue and might be on your side.
Sorry if I misread.
The (key) difference between these two situations is the other children. I'm glad that the other librarian let your son participate.
