Soapbox alert! (The remainder of this post is not directed at DeeDee...)
Tone at the top counts for a lot in group dynamics, particularly involving children. Exclusion and rejection need not be inevitable for young gifted children, the disabled, those belonging to minorities, etc if leaders of activities truly believe in, model, and enforce an attitude of equality among participants.
Frankly, I see our society paying these values of inclusion and tolerance lip service. When we don't like how someone fits in our group on the basis of a subset of arbitrary characteristics, like age, we create a separate group for them so they can be "separate but equal". But what message does that send to the child, and to the participants allowed in the group? It says that we don't need to yield to others. The ego is paramount. It says subtly that your value as a person is constrained by how others perceive and value you, because you are only desirable to the group if and only if your participation requires zero concessions (even financially costless social ones) on their part.
So, Marnie, I guess I join you with this gutteral "uuugh!" of exasperation!
totally agreed. It's just the reality though
. But it so should be! The discrimination of anyone different is annoying. And even though here our entire history is steeped in discrimination, everyone does everything to ensure "equality" . I know we here have had many conversations about equal does not always mean fair, but in SA you dare not even try suggest that someone needs different.
Extreme example: If you follow athletics closely you will have heard of Oscar Pistorius. He is currently on trial here for murder of his girlfriend. There is a HUGE thing to ensure that there is no additional "sympathy" because he is disabled, and that there is no additional "treatment" because he is something of a celebrity. It doesn't really work because annoyingly it seems to be all everyone talks about. On all matters education there has been a HUGE drive to "standardise books, levels of education etc. To the national standards detriment IMO with our required matriculation pass rate in exams being an embarrassing 30%.
Anyway I hope my point is coming through clearly - The only way we will facilitate change is for us - all of us - to advocate all the time for anyone different; showing the world what true equality really is. The big catch is that we don't want our kids to hurry up and wait for the world to take notice.
It's a sucky place to be stuck.
