My go to line with this sort of stuff is:
"Not every quirk has to be seen as a problem. Sometimes a quirk is just a quirk - you don't need to pathologize it."
Once DD was labeled as "NLD-ish" some of the... Well lets just say 'less smart' or 'less sophisticated' members of the school team started to point out social issues that just didn't exist. For example DD was removing herself from kids who were being mean to others, ostracizing others, picking on others, etc (not necessarily directed at DD - just behavior she didn't want to be around). I felt she was making a wise, mature decision. She is a very social child. Her removing herself from these other kids should be sending a message and not a message about her. Instead of pathologizing her appropriate behavior maybe you need to address the bullying/pre-bullying behavior she is reacting to. Unfortunately some of that "bad" behavior was just thought of as "typical" behavior for the age, albeit unwanted and inappropriate. When I pointed it out this way the school folks had to agree that yes the bullying behaviors SHOULD be addressed and that they were inappropriate. And yes DD was making an appropriate decision to distance herself from it. But we didn't get there until after it was labeled as a "social/emotional" issue for her and I pushed back.
It bugs the heck out of me that any out of the box behavior HAS to be seen as wrong or bad. Yes sometimes these quirks need to be addressed because they indicate an underlying issue. But our out of the box kids need adults to see beyond the labels that they are given. Presumptions, assumptions and looking for problems where they don't exist make their already difficult roads even harder. They really don't need that.
