We've been able to successfully alter DD's behavioral choices in three ways:
a) you're being rude/disrespectful and you're making {authority figure} feel bad because of your behavior. Is that what you want?
b) your behavior is leading your peers to have more difficulty in this environment. You are negatively impacting others' ability to (do whatever activity is in play). Do you have the right to limit others this way?
c) you are a role model. What kind of behavior are you modeling for others?
...
"I know that you can take control of your behavior so that it is within the boundaries that make it acceptable. Let me know if you have trouble and need my help to come up with ways to manage this."
Appeal to their intellect.
