We tend to approach this as an underlying two-fold problem with my DD, who has a nasty tendency toward passive resistance and even manipulative or passive-aggressive insubordination when she is not feeling like compliance.
LOL omgosh I think we have the same kid (although yours it quite a bit more gifted than mine).
DD10 makes me kind of nuts (as far as discipline is concerned). DS9, on the other hand, is very easy. Direct consequences (removal of privileges) works like a charm.
DD10, on the other hand, will take whatever consequence I hand out, and with the attitudinal version of the middle finger, continue to repeat the behaviour that earned the consequence. She is the epitome of recalcitrance and stubbornness.
sigh.
