I deal with it by telling my DS (1st grade) that if I don't want to hear from his school in any capacity except a pat on the back, or a newsletter, or a scheduled parent teacher conference.
I told him that if I do, then I will stand behind the school in their disciplinary procedure-- and depending on the seriousness, he may see more trouble at home.
I know it sounds authoritarian, but my DS is a "strong willed" child, and he has to 100% believe that acting up at school is a bad option (he'll still play the odds at 99%!).
On the positive, we spend time talking about what's right and personal accountability.
