I'll also add, here, that my DD has no real need for us to educate her about how others see her in the context of her disability. Unfortunately, she's had ample life experience there.
DD knew as soon as I said "I'd like to ask you about that phone call" what the implications were.
She put her head down and said "I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have answered some of her questions, should I? She sounded so helpful, though-- and I didn't want to seem rude."
I cleared my strategy with her-- that is, call the program office re: this other little thing that we need to let them know about, and then ask some questions about this earlier phone call... like WHO made the call, wow, how nice that they are so concerned... would it be helpful for them to have some of the accommodation information contained in her 504 plan...
just want to make sure that this information isn't going to be used as part of selection criteria...
