Petunia, it is soooo good that your ds opened up and talked to you about his cutting. I'd do everything I could (as his mom) to keep the lines of communication open and help him realize what a strong and understanding ally he has in you.
I don't think homeschooling or unschooling or whatever should even be on the radar at the moment - jmo, but I think your first priority is to understand what's going on with your ds... and fwiw, it seems like he's doing ok at school, at least socially and emotionally. Changing up the school situation would only throw one more complicating factor into the mix to sort through.
I agree that you need to see a neuropsych. It also sounds like your ds might benefit from having a counselor or another trusted adult to talk through to sort through his feelings. And definitely you need to keep those lines of communication open, talk to him as much as possible, try to keep digging to find out more of what's going on with him.
Best wishes,
polarbear
