I think sometimes people who haven't encountered perfectionism up close and personal don't really understand that it can be a bad thing. I think I might try using phrases like "pace herself" and "focus on learning more than performance" and "enjoy her work" and "take risks" for the things you want her to do. Good luck!
Right-- and my greatest worry after my phone conversation with him is that HIS goals for my child are diametrically opposed to this.
He wants her to focus on "meeting high standards" and "working harder" and being relentless in her "pursuit of excellence."
I just thought, "Ohhhhh, NOOOOOOOOOO" when I heard him say some of those things. She had been doing SO well with this class in particular (enjoying the material even though it is a bit on the slow/remedial side), and that
was an appropriate challenge for her-- she and he do NOT communicate well (on either side, I might add), and she doesn't trust or like him.
So for her, that WAS an appropriate-- and actually somewhat DAUNTING-- set of learning challenges. She had to meet the challenge of learning from someone that she DOES NOT LIKE. She had to force herself to meet the PACE of the class even though it's too slow and the content isn't as deep as she'd like. She was figuring out how to meet external standards while still maintaining her own inner goals with the material. KWIM?
Now he's decided that
that isn't what he wants her to get out of the class. Gaaaaa!!!
