Okay-- so we're having trouble with a teacher. The same teacher that was involved (integrally, one might say) in the holy-cow-nuclear-scale meltdown of perfectionism and anxiety of two years ago (which is fully documented here, for those that care)--
Him: I believe in {DD}-- she's SOooooooo capable! I just want her to meet (very high) standards. My goal is to instill a better work ethic in her, since I see that as something missing in a lot of high-potential kids. My teaching philosophy is about having kids meet very high standards in order to grow.
Me: Yes, I understand. My goal, also, is to have a child whose work ethic can match her potential. We're working on it. The problem is that if you trigger her perfectionism, there is no reasoning with her. By making it so that she needs 98% in the rest of the semester, you've just created a perfect storm for her in which she feels that earning 100% is far more crucial than learning anything.
For my Davidson cronies only--> {But-- the material itself, while INTERESTING to DD, (it's American Government) just isn't that difficult for her, fundamentally. The class is neither paced nor leveled "properly" for her.}
The problem is that, judging from your comments (which are appreciated, by the way); you see this assessment as formative. The problem is that from the way the system is set up, it's summative. Those two things are not compatible with a child like my daughter. This just feels punitive, and now rather than working TOWARD something, she's going to be working to AVOID something instead.
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The real problem here is that this teacher simply does NOT understand that we don't WANT our DD approaching material beneath her level with this "banzai" kind of "giving it her ALLLLLLL" approach. That's what gets us into a position of "my best = 100%, ergo, if I don't get 100%, I have failed."
Frankly, the teacher is NOT going to want to hear that this class doesn't merit my daughter's "best" effort, but that's the bottom line.
This is a class where we WANT her to be doing "good enough" work, not "my very best." The "work ethic" class is AP PHYSICS this year, tyvm. That's the one that meets the demands of her proximal zone, and will allow her to actually learn something on that front.
What do I say instead?? (My bunker position thus far was to give him the lowdown on the perfectionism issues, the degree to which this is a problem, and point out that there is more than one way to get my daughter's "best" out of her-- and he agreed to discuss the problem with the "Barracuda" who has been getting my daughter to work "harder/better/more" for about six years now-- without traumatizing her or triggering horrifying levels of perfectionism in the process.)
HELP!
