I hate to say it but it sounds like your 9 yo dd scares the hell out of her teacher. The teacher probably instinctively understands that your dd has the ability to make her look stupid. The easiest way to combat this is to squash her like a bug and keep her there. Everything she learns at home gives her another opportunity to make her teacher look bad. It sounds far fetched but consider having a 9 yo walk in one day talking about something, anything that you have no knowledge of. GT kids can come up with some pretty obscure subjects.
I have a couple of things for you to think about. First you need to educate yourself regarding federal, state and local GT mandates. Most admins and teachers don't know them chapter and verse. If you walk into the meeting armed with knowledge, admins tend to take you much more seriously. Find out what the chain of command is in your district. If you don't get a response from the principal, move up the chain. Try very hard not to be emotional, just pummel them into submission with the facts. In their face. Make sure that you reiterate every meeting or phone call in writing. You need to have a document of what has transpired. Advocating is truly the business of "the squeky wheel". They all start out hoping that if they ignore you, you'll give up and go away. Unfortunately, this works all too often.
As far as your daughter goes.... There are a huge number of subjects that are not taught in elementary school. Start her on a new language, teach her how to build a Rube-Goldberg project and the physics behind it. Have her learn Origami, Chess and 3-D tanagrams. All of these activities will enhance her math skills without directly conflicting with curriculum. Pick a science subject and have at it! My son spent several months giving himself a anatomy course. Rather than the sketchy two week unit that most schools give, he came out the other end with an enormous amount of respect for the machine that is his body. Let your daughter help choose the subject, she'll be excited by the challenge.
NOBODY knows your child better than you. If your mommy gut says that things need to change, listen to it. Do not let people convince you that what your instincts are telling you is wrong. Being a parent is about being responsible for the person you will ultimately shape. Not about stuffing her in a box based on the perception of others.
