This will be a long and philosophical post...we are struggling with our school decision for DS and in meeting other parents of kids like these, we're realizing that maybe we haven't really done a good job of defining what "the goal" really is in terms of education. I'm very interested in hearing thoughts from all of you on this topic....

We've had horrendous preschool experiences and we know that we will have more of the same if we choose poorly for "real" school next year (K or 1st...one of the decisions we need to make!). So, I guess I'd say that for us, our goal (implicit...never really thought of it this way before...) is to find somewhere that DS is challenged enough to stay on the wagon from a behavior perspective, in a place where he is encouraged and respected by his teachers and in a place where he has a chance to make friends and enjoy school. Since I find it hard to believe that any K (or even 1st) grade classroom will be able to provide a true academic challenge, we've been trying hard to find flexible schools that seem excited about having a kid like DS and open to acceleration if needed but also creative with how DS can have a "helper" role in the classroom with other kids who aren't reading, etc.

In our area, there are several options for these kids, including a program for the highly gifted that is self-contained and tiny...and they push the kids VERY hard - working at least 2, and often far more, grades ahead of their "age" grade. When we visited, we felt like it was way too much - 2 hours of homework in K, etc. But, in talking to parents who have kids there, we have heard a completely different "goal" expressed - that we need to do everytyhing we can to help DS reach his full potential, and if that means an intense academic environment, even if it's not always "fun," then we should still do it beacuse we owe it to him to help him really reach his potential.

How have you all thought about "the goal" of education for your kids? Would you choose a hardcore program (very worksheet/textbook/desk work intensive with lots of testing and competition) where you could be SURE that your child was being pushed every single day to the very highest level he/she could achieve OR would you choose a program that was not likely to be very challenging academically but would grow into something more challenging (converting to a 130+ GT classroom at 3rd grade - still not nearly as rigorous as the other program, but closer). This second program would focus on "Learning Immersion" or going deep into topics and using them for multiple disciplines (kind of like unit studies in a very collaborative, team based environment with very little "desk work" and such). I think DS would be much happier in the second program, but there's NO doubt that he will learn more in the first program. And, there's a chance that the lack of extreme academic challenge will breed the same issues we had in preschool (terrible behavior and a really angry, frustrated kid) - but possibly not because the teachers and principal seem excited by having DS instead of burdened by him...

I'm less looking for advice on our specific school situation (though I'll happily take any offered!) and more looking for everyone's thoughts on what you think "the goal" is when making education decisions for your HG+ kids?