School wasn't a good fit for me, but I was always basically happy in general (just my personality). I remember, though, being sad when all my best friends were in the top reading group and were therefore tested for the gifted program in K and I was not. It turned out that in K I was diagnosed with a lazy eye and very bad eyesight, and when my eye problems were fixed I was immediately an excellent reader. But, I'd seemingly missed the boat with the gifted testing. For two more years I'd watch sadly as all my best friends got to go to the gifted pull-out while I did not, so in 3rd grade I told my mom that I wanted her to tell the school to test me. They did and I easily made the cut. I guess I just knew that I belonged with those people. ...(BTW: A few years later they changed the requirements for getting into the gifted program and we all had to retest, and I was the only one of my friends to still qualify.)
I get so choked up reading this story. So glad they eventually found your vision problem and that you eventually asked your parents to have you tested, and so glad that you finally got the confirmation at the retesting. That may sound like I'm celebrating that you were 'better' than your friends - but I don't believe 'gifted' is better, I just totally GET how difficult it is to get honest feedback and what it's like to self doubt and self question.
Our culture has no safe way - no vocabulary - to talk about inate differences simply and clearly. Of coures no one can know another's potential. Of course more smart isn't the same as more 'good' or more likely to succede. But there is a part of us that is aware of each other's qualities that are tested on an IQ test, and that part needs a bone of validation once in a while. Otherwise we start making up elaborate explainations that aren't useful in navigating the world.
Good for you for stepping up for your kids when needed! It's painful but worth it!
Love and More Love,
Grinity
