[. �She respects that. �Of course that means that I also have to respect her decisions about her areas of control--including sitting & watching as she trims all the fur off of all of her stuffed animals. �
�I can object, but it is her decision in the end, and she'll tell me that. �And I'll respect it. �
What about respect for the father or other family member who traded an hour of their life at work so she could have nice things at the house? �(more than 1hr. for some toys.). I would be willing to buy a bear at the yard sale for that purpose if she asked, but wouldn't respect spontaneous destruction of property just for something to do. �
Faith, hope, and love. �This is a strictly by the book correct response to your situation. �This is NOT the voice of experience talking. �I would try to talk with her when times are good and say, "I know you and I are very close. �When you feel like I'm leaving you out of something that you're not included in you might feel angry, hurt, or frustrated. �When I tell you "no" about something you have two choices�
A)do something else�
B)say how you feel using a friendly voice
A nice voice is an "inside" voice-not loud like you might use outside, angry, or whining. �Decide if you need to talk about how you feel. �Decide who you want to tell your feelings to. �Decide when would be a good time to ask (for example, not when the person is busy). Say to that person "I need to talk" using a nice voice and make sure you use a friendly look. �(demonstrate for her aggressive, angry, friendly, and relaxed facial expressions and body postures). �Talking about it doesn't always mean you get your way, but it almost always will make you feel better just to be able to tell someone how you feel about it. �This is not easy to learn how to do, but I know you can do it. �Dealing with your feelings, dealing with rejection or disappointment, talking about your feelings calmly, these are very grown up things. �But if you can learn how to do these things now while you're young it will make your whole life better and easier from now on. �I'd like to help you work on it. �It will take time. �But it's worth working on it in the long run."
http://www.nurturedheart.com/index.php/parenting-articles/141-5-things-every-parent-should-know
