You've gotten lots of great advice.
My family recently read "Raising your spirited child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It helped us a great deal.
I would say that the largest message in the book is that some of the frustrating behaviors of childhood are actually strengths in adulthood. It's important for us to think about that and encouraging the positive portions of the behaviors (wanting to understand) while also encouraging the behavior we need now. "In a few minutes I'm going to need to move this piece of furniture. I don't want you to get hurt. Can you think of places to stand so you'll be out of danger?"
She goes through a series of temperaments that she thinks increase spirit. I think that many of them apply to gifted kids (and often apply earlier than in the general population). She also asks you to consider your own (and partner's) temperaments as well. i.e. Two people who have problems adapting to change can easily set each other off unless they work hard to avoid it.
We were recommended this book when our daughter was almost 2 (by her Montessori teacher). I wish I had read it then.
