thank you all for your responses i do feel a bit attacked but i also realize that you are all well meaning...
Sorry about that. I probably did sound harsh, but I didn't say anything to you that I haven't said to myself a hundred times.
One thing that has helped us is having specific areas of control. In our family, we each make decisions about our own bodies and about the objects that belong to us. In addition, we each have a job and make decisions about our jobs. My job is keeping DD safe. DH's job is working out of the home. DD's job is having fun & learning things.
So if I have made a decision that is about safety, I explain it briefly. If DD objects and I overrule her objection, I say that it is my decision because it is a safety issue and safety is my job. She respects that. Of course that means that I also have to respect her decisions about her areas of control--including sitting & watching as she trims all the fur off of all of her stuffed animals.
I can object, but it is her decision in the end, and she'll tell me that. And I'll respect it.
