My point of view may not be very popular. I'm certainly not judging anyone's parenting. This is something about which I feel rather passionate.
In my opinion there's nothing wrong about having busy days with kids in lots of activities, but I do think balance is important.
I think our society has got things upside-down these days, with kids' desires taking over everyone's lives. When I was young, parents routinely went out or had folks over for a regular card game or whatever. Routines revolved around the entire family's activities, and things were more well-rounded.
Today, for a lot of families, it's ALL KIDS ALL THE TIME, and I think it's unhealthy. I also think it's difficult to do something different than that unless society changes. For example, I have 2 DSs. If DH and I want them to participate in any sport at their ages (6 and 8), it means a 3 day a week commitment. In my opinion, that's ridiculous at that young age. If they can't be on the same team or don't want to play the same sport, it just multiplies the issue. I know several families with multiple kids and one parent is taking Johnny to his 9 am game, while the other is taking Jane across town to hers, and they're asking someone else to carpool little Mikey to his sport so they can make it all work. And frequently, there are multiple games for each kid each weekend.
And then of course, we all think kids should have some unstructured time after school. But what I see is that after parents have worked all day long, they're the ones making the dinner, setting the table, doing the laundry, doing dishes, etc... while the kids play games or whatever because there's just no other time for unstructured time with all the activities and homework.
I frequently hear that young adults today are self-centered and have a bad work ethic, etc.... In my mind, it's no wonder. The world has revolved around them since the day they were born and it never stops until they're grown up.
I'm a proponent of balance. Do I think that kids should be able to participate in extracurricular activities? Of course, I do. I also think that until they're in high school (or at least middle school), there ought to be options for two days a week for an activity. (Of course, it's different if you have a child who's truly passionate and/or talented in an area.) I also think that kids should have down time, but all of this should be balanced so that they participate in the family routine. Not every day in life is fun after all.
So, my personal opinion of overscheduling is that as long as there's balance, all is well. If things are out of whack, then I think it's important to step back and see if you need to re-evalute.
