Connie: I think a lot of parents put their kids in "learning" environments really early because they want the structure and to make sure their kids are getting something academic out of school. At least that's my impression of the folks I know who have their children in Montessori environments for preschool.
Personally, I think that kind of structure isn't age appropriate. I opted for play-based preschools b/c I felt that was best for his development. I did naturally incorporate learning into play, read all the time, etc., but that's just how I am. What I found most interesting with my younger son, who is a kindergartner reading at grade 3 level, is that his preschool teachers didn't even know he could read. Even though he's so far ahead academically, I sometimes just think that it's not so much that he's gifted, but that he's motivated to be an equal to his brother who is two years older. I often call him a case of "older brother syndrome."
Sounds like your friends aren't really very nice people. My second-grader has had to deal with a fair amount of bullying as well, dating back to kindergarten. It's sad that bullying starts so early. I have been lucky in that my son has had teachers who have changed some things around to put a stop to the bullying. If your school isn't doing this, it should be. And it certainly shouldn't pair your son up with a child who is bullying him. That just makes it worse.
