I try to be very clear with my DH what I need from him. Sometimes I want him to help me brainstorm solutions, sometimes I just want to hear my own voice as I ramble, etc.
Knowing what you're looking for from a spouse and making those needs plain (to yourself as much as to your spouse) can really help keep communication positive, useful and on track.
DH thought DS5 was below the middle of the curve, honestly. He readily accepted that DS8 was HG+ because his learning style and personality are very similar to ours. But I was always "defending" (the "" is because it wasn't quite that bad, but close!) DS5's intelligence. Of course, now it's looking like even I was underestimating DS5. But at least I wasn't as far off as DH was!
