BK,
I am on a board at conductdisorders.com that I would highly suggest. There are people there who have gotten past the toughest stuff and their kids have succeeded, and others who have children with such difficulties that they are struggling. It's a great place to get perspective.
One other thing. I would recommend reading "The Explosive Child". It has a different sort of discipline geared towards children like your son. Everyone on the other boards recommends it and it definitely helps.
Good luck BK.
