When I try to crystallize it, I think the biggest advantage for us has come from finding a way to get him to take responsibility for the behavior. I'm sure there are lots of ways to do this, but in our case we've found it extremely useful to cultivate a variety of adult role models other than his family members. It is in genuinely not wanting to disappoint these people that DS has found the resources to resist impulsive behavior.
Let me also endorse elh's idea that a physically exhausted boy is less likely to get into trouble. I think this can be taken to extremes, and it was in my own childhood. But when someone has as much frantic energy as our DS does, and perhaps your DS too, it is bound to find its way to trouble unless there is some safe and productive outlet for it. I am not at all ashamed to take DS to the track and time him in 40 yard sprints until he drops. He loves it, and we love the peace that follows from it.
Just a thought.
BB
