So I spent most of Saturday evening sitting on DS6 and wondering where I can get a parenting handbook that includes wrestling holds. DH was not at all comfortable with my approach - he wanted to offer sympathy and talk it through gently. I felt amazingly calm in the certainty that there was nothing else I
could do - the bottom line was that he couldn't be allowed to rampage through the house attacking us and breaking things.
When the situation finally settled down we decided to go with the brat camp approach - all priveledges withheld until such time as DH and I think he has earned the right to have them back. And he's been advised that they will disappear immediately again if there are
any infringements (will have to make sure DH stays on the straight and narrow). So far he's missed out on going to the movies, a play date at a friend's house, pocket money, desert, TV, computer. He's been lovely since - I wish a couple of days was enough to make me feel confident in claiming to have discovered an effective approach.
We still haven't attempted any sort of analysis of the situation with him. I don't think this would get us too far, as I don't believe he has any idea what triggers the anger. And I'm feeling a bit wary about giving him the idea that it can all be explained/excused - the behaviour is unacceptable no matter what the reason. If it continues we'll sign up for some professional help, but I hope it doesn't come to that.
I did wonder about a quiet comment he made yesterday about hoping he can get into the other school, so that he can meet new friends - he's been very adamently against the idea. He expressed negative thoughts about school friends during the last spate of aggressive behaviour too. But perhaps feeling unhappy causes this, rather than the other way around. (Oh, save the world from amateur psychologists!)
I can't believe we are having so many difficulties at age 6. I can't imagine what the next few years will bring
Any stories about difficult children who have grown into lovely responsible adults would be much appreciated!
Crisc - hope things are looking up for you?
Cheers
BK
