Hi Master of none. I'm a bit surprised that a child could be docked points on a grade for not talking. My DS8 is usually docked points for talking too much!
(but usually to the kid beside him and not when the teacher asks a question!)
Our son's school had the same policy of starting real grades in 3rd grade, although for DS it was the last half of the year. But grading a kid on class participation seems odd. I know that DS had some group projects where he was expected to stand up and present something to the class. I suppose that if he had refused to do that, then his grade would have suffered some. But that was only on one project during the two semesters. Does your DS's teacher expect talking in a clearing defined example, such as a class project, or is this just a generic, hand-waving "needs to raise his hand and answer questions periodically" kind of assessment? My son was almost always too busy doodling on a piece of paper to ever join in a class discussion (at least the few times that I was in class to observe). And yet the teacher quickly realized that he doodled when he was bored and that he knew all of the material. DS's teacher did not penalize him for his lack of class participation. Would that be a similar case? I would ask for clear expectations as to what level of class participation is necessary for each given grade.
This whole concept is rather surprising, since it obviously favors the extroverts over the introverts. Does an extroverted child with minimal understanding earn more points, and thus a higher grade, than in introverted child who has mastered the subject?? I understand that teachers need some method to gauge what a child knows, and raising his/her hand and speaking is
one method out of many. But the crux of the matter is that a teacher should be able to find some appropriate way of measuring mastery of knowledge, particularly when the child has an issue like social anxiety.
You can not hold up or measure a child who has social anxiety to the same level of criteria for social skills as a child without social anxiety, regardless of his or her intelligence. That is ridiculous. So I would go out of my way to thank the teacher for realizing how bright your son is, since that is a major hurdle for getting the appropriate level of differentiation from the teacher. But she should be gently reminded that your son's ability to participate in the classroom discussions is completely separate from his level of understanding or intelligence.
And as a completely separate note: Aren't schools required by law to aid students who have been diagnosed with a disability? Does your school have a counselor for the kids that you could speak to, or who would understand social anxiety more than this teacher? Could she speak to you son's teacher for you?
