Welcome!
You are correct that my real concern is peer connections. That is also my reason for looking into another environment so he can meet more kids like him. His same aged peers are not at his mental age. He likes being silly sometimes but I have seen over and over when he would tell them some cool facts and they would ignore him and talk about something else. He said even with his best friend, they only have very few things in common they can talk about.
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He has a few friends from different places but none who can connect intellectually.
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I think he just want to find kids who are more like him and can understand.
This is one thing. Finding some intellectual peers will likely address this.
I don't know how else to describe it but when he gets upset..he gets really upset. His best friend would do something by accident and he would insist it's on purpose and made the other child feel really bad. He is intense and very aware of things and yet can't handle the situation well.
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He wants friends but said most of the kids are so annoying.
This is something else, entirely, and you may wish to consider direct teaching of social skills, flexibility, and perspective taking which other kids may pick up on naturally, as if by osmosis. Here is a brief roundup of some potential resources:
- book:
100 social rules for kids (hat tip to sanne)- direct teaching of
non-verbal cues- direct teaching of
friendship - direct teaching of
perspective taking- link to an article on the Davidson Database,
Tips For Parents: Gifted Children's Friendships-
post with roundup of articles on friendship
The older kids wouldn't play with him either due to his age.
There is actually very little of this when a kid is single-subject-accelerated (SSA), for example placed in a higher grade for math... or has one or more years of full-grade acceleration (grade-skipping).
There is a difference between tantrums and meltdowns... the information at these links may be of interest:
1)
The Difference Between Tantrums and Sensory Meltdowns 2)
Taming Tantrums vs Managing Meltdowns
