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    #206527 - 11/27/14 09:35 PM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    Adam23 Offline
    New Member

    Registered: 11/27/14
    Posts: 1
    Hello dear!! If you are looking a preschool for your kids and want best facilities and teachers where your child feels comfortable then you should go for Phoenix pre-k. This is one of the best preschool in the city. My 8 years daughter is also there, and she is very happy!

    Phoenix preschool

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    #209746 - 01/27/15 06:50 AM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    amielynn38 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 08/24/14
    Posts: 60
    Loc: Texas
    Well, We are now homeschooling for the rest of his PreK year. We found out, after the bullying, that DS developed a class clown approach to school since he was bored. He was too advance for the curriculum, we knew that going in, but we just wanted him to have some socialization and learn how to act in a classroom setting. His teacher was not able to handle a gifted child. So, he became the class clown after he finished his work. I wish the teacher had said something to me, but she made it seem like everything was ok.

    There was a big meeting with the school director and we withdrew him. Now we have to correct all this negative behavior. I feel embarrassed, angry, and overwhelmed. Any advice?

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    #209748 - 01/27/15 07:12 AM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    indigo Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/27/13
    Posts: 4902
    If I recall, someone had suggested taekwondo in response to an earlier post? Martial arts can be a great way to develop self-discipline and also a sense of belonging, without playing the clown.

    Direct teaching of social skills can be facilitated, in some cases, with books/resources such as:
    - The Unwritten Rules of Friendship (which is geared for parents to read and digest so they may guide their children),
    - The Gifted Kids' Survival Guide (which is geared for kids but parents may wish to read it first to prepare for meaningful and supportive conversations, following questions their kids may have when they read it),
    - Social Thinking (which discusses skills in perspective taking).

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    #209749 - 01/27/15 07:16 AM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    amielynn38 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 08/24/14
    Posts: 60
    Loc: Texas
    We went to a taewkondo class yesterday, another tomorrow. He was defiantly clowning then! The teacher seems to think he can get him in line. But at home, he exhibits none of this behavior. It seems to be when we are not around.

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    #209764 - 01/27/15 11:03 AM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    Ivy Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/08/14
    Posts: 337
    You should absolutely not feel embarrassed. This is just another example of a school being unable to meet the needs of any child who doesn't fit in their little box. This board is absolutely littered with examples of the same sort of thing. Frankly, I think the school should be embarrassed. Here they have a bright, calm child who's being bullied on a daily basis and who's so bored that he's acting out in self-preservation. And somehow this child is beyond their ability to deal with? Ridiculous.

    I understand if you are angry (at them) and overwhelmed (it's a big change) but never feel embarrassed.

    It sound to me like the negative behaviors were his way of coping with the bullying and the boredom. Since you are removing both of those factors, the behavior may just self-correct naturally.

    Also, I'm guessing from the entire thread that the environment was much more stressful and less supportive than you ever guessed. After all, this started with the teacher saying your DS was the one with the problem! No blame here by the way -- it's incredibly hard to know what's really going on at school. I was always stunned at the lack of transparency with our DDs public schools.

    Being in a calm nurturing environment (home) will hopefully be healing for him. Also, as you look for a Dojo (I'm a huge fan of martial arts for kids) make sure the energy is also calm and nurturing. We were lucky enough to find two dojos with that kind of environment, as opposed to being aggressive or frenetic.

    Big virtual hugs during this difficult time.

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    #209779 - 01/27/15 01:37 PM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    aeh Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/26/14
    Posts: 3974
    He's never had to engage in those behaviors with you, because you provide him with a better fit. In other settings, especially those that have something in common with his former preschool (lots of other kids, a teacher), his experiences have taught them that these behaviors function better than any other tools available to him. If the new environment sets about to teach him that,
    1) these behaviors are not functional here, and/or
    2) there are additional tools that will be at least as effective,
    he will eventually abandon them. It sounds like the new dojo may believe that he has a plan in place to do that.

    It will, of course, be work, but he is young, and, as much as it may feel like someone should have caught it sooner, really, this is fairly early in the process, and I doubt that the behavior is that firmly entrenched.
    _________________________
    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...

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    #209782 - 01/27/15 01:47 PM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    amielynn38 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 08/24/14
    Posts: 60
    Loc: Texas
    Thank you ivy and aeh.
    Today we went for a long hike and looked at lots of nature things. He really enjoyed it. We also got some pent up energy out. We talked a bit about school and how to behave. He seemed to understand and relaxed. We then has two short HS lessons once we came home. He was very happy.
    We have had some difficultly with discipline today. He's trying his school tricks at home. I think with a bit of time, they will also go away.
    The new dojo thinks he has potential and is willing to work with him. I am thankful for that!

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    #209870 - 01/28/15 02:20 PM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    Mana Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/17/12
    Posts: 882
    amielynn38, my DD who is very social goes to an outdoor program that is non-academic and multi-age. So you'd think it'd work out well but we still had to make adjustments to meet her needs. Right now, teacher and I are trying to work together to make major adjustments. After 8 months, DD basically has had it with outdoor free play and wants to learn academics. According to her, she's just too old to be playing all day long and toys are apparently only for young children who do not have more productive things to do with their time.

    So, please do not feel that you made a bad educational decision for your DS by enrolling him in a preschool. FWIW, the first program we gave a go was a horrible fit for DD and I thought it caused a lot of harm but DD doesn't seem to be scarred by the experience. If anything, she seems to miss some aspects of that school. Preschools is hard for precocious little ones especially if they don't have the temperament to go with the flow.

    Homeschooling sounds like it's off to a great start. Please keep us updated.

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    #210281 - 02/05/15 11:04 AM Re: PreK Social Issues [Re: amielynn38]
    amielynn38 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 08/24/14
    Posts: 60
    Loc: Texas
    Mana, Thanks. I don't regret placing him in PreK. he did love parts of it and does seem to miss somethings. His teacher this year wasn't a good fit. She wasn't willing to work with us. She decided he has social problems and that was that. He has started Taekwondo and it's going ok. We are working with his teacher to fit his needs, and they seem happy to help us. I know it's always going to be a slight battle but as long as he is happy, I am happy.

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