Sue and Platypus101, I appreciate your input so much that it has nearly brought me to tears. That is exactly it. By no means are we trying to use it as an excuse and yes, we are all working really hard.
To your question Platypus, I think I just find it easier to deal with when it's because he "can't", rather than when he "won't". On those occasions, I have a lot less patience for him. I know I should always remain calm, but it's not always easy.
I had a heart to heart conversation with our poor darling last night and it made me really sad. His words: "I try really hard to manage my emotions and my behaviour, but it doesn't work a lot of the time. I'm an emotional type of kid. I'm not normal. It's ok, I don't want to be normal. There are normal people everywhere, but there aren't that many emotional kids. But it's really hard. One of my tricks is to try not to look back, to just think about the future." He can be so very self-aware sometimes! He really does have "really, really huge incredibly overwhelming emotions", just like his mamma.
And add to the mix that there's usually something behind the behaviour, too. This morning, when were asking about his feelings he said: "Let me explain something. You see, it's because I don't play soccer and [his best friend] plays soccer at recess and I don't have anyone to play with except one boy who is sort of strange. He's nice, but he's strange. But he's the only one who has enough of an imagination to play made up games with me. I can't tell anyone else about these games because they would laugh and tease me." There are two reasons he won't play soccer: He feels he's not good enough, and he knows that he'll be really upset if his team loses. So he misses out on all the fun. It makes him sad and he spends a lot of time thinking about the whole thing.
