We - meaning both he AND his parents - work very hard on this. We have expectations and consequences and he probably works harder on this than most any kid in his class. He also suffers for it a ton, because he knows he fails and he wants so badly to succeed.
Judgment doesn't help him or me as his mom.
suevv, I can definitely understand how you feel. It's not to the same extent at this point, but I do feel your pain. I too feel like we (DH, DS6 and I) have to work so much harder at it than most, and it can be exhausting for the whole family. And we also often feel judged anytime he acts out in public. Though we're sort of lucky on that front for the time being - he seems to save his bad behaviour for us at home, which makes it easier because there aren't extra sets of eyes.
You seem to be referring to a time in the past, so I hope he's doing better. In any case, you are not alone. ((hugs))