Three points I'll add:

1. DS7 is way ahead academically, but behind on his executive function/social skills. So he is working hard and learning in school - albeit not math/reading, etc. He's learning that if he tries hard and practices, he can get better at something. For us, that's the most important thing for him to be learning right now, and I'm OK if he's coasting on the other stuff for a bit. If your child struggles for self control and generalized happiness at school, this MAY be a factor for you. Of course, it MAY reflect boredom and the need to accelerate. Every kid is going to differ here, and at some point you just have to trust your gut.

2. I believe that supporting a kid's desire to accelerate is necessary; pushing a kid for achievement is toxic. But ACK!! it's hard to draw the line sometimes. In younger years, I see a red flag when a parent tries to influence what the child will be passionate about.

Example: DS7 is currently wild about Magic the Gathering, which he picked up last summer at a camp. We follow his interest by playing with him and allowing him to play in tournaments, read strategy blogs, etc. Just basically eat, breathe and sleep Magic. You know how these intense kids do.

One of his friends also loves Magic. But Friend's parents promote him playing chess instead. They play chess with him, enter him in tournaments, etc. They don't forbid Magic, but they don't support it either. Friend is quite good at chess, but never prefers it over Magic. Friend's Mom often recommends that I nudge DS to play chess instead, so the boys would play together (and stop playing Magic). DS likes chess, but prefers Magic, so I don't push chess.

I understand that chess has a certain cache that Magic lacks, and see Friend's parents' reasoning. After all, both boys like chess, and both games are about strategy. But to me - Friend's parents chose chess, not him. To me that looks like pushing, not supporting. If it is, Friend will end up hating chess, or I'll eat a deck of Magic cards!

3. Absent free time, how is a kid supposed to FIND what they are passionate about? And if a kid is perpetually seated at the zone of proximal development, well that takes a lot of energy. I DO NOT presume to know or suggest that anybody here or in real life is pushing. Heck, I can't tell when I'm doing it myself. How could I ever tell what's going on in another family? I'm just saying that sometimes, a little boredom can be good for a brain that needs to learn to think for itself about what it wants to do.

Am I way off your question, HelloBaby? I don't mean to wander. But I guess what I wanted to say is, trust your instincts on accommodation/acceleration. Push the school to give what's needed. But don't be afraid to give your son a little breathing room, too.

In any event, your son is very lucky to have parents concerned enough to be asking these questions!

Sue