How does one deal with a child who is younger than average who sees all the "big" kids get cell phones, electronics etc . Do you go by age or grade level?
Possibly go by family values and school policy. I've known children as young as kindergarten with a simple, inexpensive cell phone "for emergency use", such as "missed the bus". This is different than having a phone to display; Some schools disallow cell phones and clarifying language allows students to possess a cell phone but not to display it (cell phone must stay in locker or backpack and not be used during school hours).
ITA. My kids are spread out from high school through upper elementary now, and I haven't ever really seen (in my kids' schools) the situation where suddenly you moved up one grade or one year and all of a sudden all of the kids had cell phones. Some had cell phones way back in 4th grade, some of my ds' friends in high school still don't have them. My ds has a cell phone because I need it to communicate with him because he's at a school across town and involved in after-school activities. We got him the phone when he went to out-of-state summer camp for the first time so he could call home (and so home could call him lol!). Most of his male friends have phones now too but rarely use them. His female friends live for texting. My dds don't have phones yet because they don't need them (7th and 5th grade) - some of their friends do, some don't. Most of their friends have some type of ability to text whether or not they have a phone, and my dds are allowed to text.
Our schools don't allow kids to use phones during the school day, and some of them have rules about phones on campus. When our children have asked about phones etc before we were ready for them to have them, we've simply let them know that it's not the right time in our family and that in our family we go by our family values (as established by the parental units lol!). This really hasn't been a huge issue because there really *are* other families out there that aren't sending their kids to school with electronics. In fact, I'd say that with one exception, most of the families we know locally don't make the step up to getting their children phones until their kids are involved in after-school activities requiring coordination of pick-up and drop-off times and rides etc. And that's something that may ultimately result in you wanting to get your dd a phone a year earlier than you'd planned - because you might end up at that crazy stage of needing to know where your dd is earlier than you would have if she hadn't been accelerated. But I wouldn't over-worry about the phone issue, instead just give it time and see what happens.
FWIW I've found that the most helpful thing for me as a parent re tech as my kids get older is to attend the "online guidelines for parents" meetings that our local police department holds for schools at least once every 2 years or so. The things to look out for really change dramatically from year to year, and those are things that your kids can be exposed to whether or not they own the technology because they will be around kids that do.
Best wishes,
polarbear
