I think that there are two camps of people: one that says you have ASD if you have ASD traits and one that says that you don't if you don't quite fit every characteristic because you are also gifted.
I think this oversimplifies the situation a bit. Many people on this board have had professionals tell them their child has some ASD traits but is not ASD. I have some ASD traits (I have SPD) but I am very confident that I do not have ASD.
I definitely agree that it is unwise to assume any child will grow out of any issue and that issues in the family should be addressed. But I do think it is important to understand that diagnosing ASD and ADD can be difficult with some children. I don't know if the OP's child is in this category or not.
In some cases, a focus on finding a diagnosis for a gray-area child could be counterproductive. I have already spent money and time having my child assessed and finding nothing. I am weary of it and at this point I do not want to spend more money finding nothing because she is savvy and compensates well in a testing environment.
