I think this kind of lesson is actually a benefit of having a sibling--for both your kids. Right now, your DS is learning an unpleasant lesson, but I think you will be able to help him get something positive out of it.
I agree with Cathy. I also think that learning this lesson at 9 is preferable to learning it at 18 or 25. Both of your kids may be realizing that IQ alone isn't enough, and that hard work is necessary for success.
I think it's vital that very highly gifted kids learn this lesson, because a time will come when something won't come easily. If a person can't draw on past experiences of working hard, s/he may crumble in the face of the challenge.
We spend a lot of time teaching our kids to keep trying, even when a task seems too hard. Then, when something seems impossible to do, we remind them of the times when they did something in spite of thinking it was too hard.
Val
