Well, I will just share my perspective as a very talented, female Millenial. I left a good career track in a STEM profession to be a SAHM and volunteer. ...
... I would say that I logically weighed my options, acted according to my own set of priorities (which may or may not be influenced by my gender), and I'm happier than ever.
I have a lot of admiration and gratitude for the work that female activists have done in the past generations. But maybe the pendulum has swung in the other direction, in some areas. Really, it is not a smart girl's duty to defy stereotypes any more than it is her duty to fulfill traditional gender roles.
I don't think anyone has a duty to defy or fulfill traditional gender roles. People should make their own decisions based on their abilities on desires, not what someone else expects of them.
But...there's another side to the coin you've described. You make it sound so wonderful that you made a personal choice and you're so happy and it's all great. But what about the wider consequences?
It's well known that a lot of women enter graduate schools, professional schools, or jobs knowing or considering that they're going to leave the workforce when they have children. Unfortunately, this practice is so common, it leads to hiring managers getting cynical, as in, "She'll quit as soon as she has a baby." So maybe they don't want to hire or promote other women of childbearing age because of fears of making a bad investment. And then there is the question of the grad and professional schools allotting scarce places to women who, ultimately, won't be really using their educations.
Yes, I know that you can teach your kids and etc. etc. But that's not the same and it doesn't require a graduate or professional degree.
I understand that some people have NO CHOICE but to quit a job because something about the child demands it (e.g. health reasons). This is very different from deciding --- AFTER a lot of resources have been invested into you --- that you want to opt out. And I understand that people change their minds. But I think it's important for women in general to understand that every time a woman talks about how happy she is to have left the workforce after a lot of education, there are consequences for others. And the stereotypes we're talking about here are among them.
