suppose if you want to be competitive at chess, you'd have to have the talent and the motivation to win and the ability to perform even when feeling intimidated, etc. Girls who are talented at chess may not have those other factors. No big deal, IMO. Who's to say that getting along with peers isn't more important than kicking butt at chess?
Getting along with peers is certainly important. And I'm not especially competitive myself. But I don't think I would say this is "no big deal." In a world where men are still the politicians, the CEOs, etc, I think we need more women who are motivated to win and to perform when intimidated. It should not be "unfeminine" or seem embarrassing (as I think it sometimes does to my DD) to dominate at the chessboard.
One thing about chess is different than almost all other games that children play: there is absolutely no luck involved. (Well, okay...there is whether you get white or black, and at a tournament, the pairings involve a bit of luck.) If you win, you win on skill. And you must be aggressive. I agree that this can be hard for girls, who are socialized not to behave this way. I disagree that it is not a valuable skill. It's certainly not THE ONLY valuable skill.
