So as you know, ADHD can create conflict seeking in kids (or adults). They get an adrenaline rush that makes them feel better in their brains when you get angry. I hate the advice about staying calm because it is so very difficult when being actively provoked by your children. But losing your cool gives them a pay off that keeps them coming back for more.
Three things that have helped us:
Rewards for getting it done-- we use chore chart on iPad to set points, give bonuses, and offer rewards
Family Rules (Here are ours):
1. Treat others with RESPECT
(no hitting, biting, spitting, yelling, kicking, etc.)
2. WAIT your turn/Don’t interrupt
3. Tell the TRUTH/ Be honest
4. NO ARGUING with Parents
(your point more than twice = arguing)
5. Do what Mom&Dad say the FIRST TIME
6. Respect each other’s PROPERTY
(If it’s not yours, ask first)
7. PUT THINGS AWAY that you take out
(always do before you sleep; don’t forget to flush)
8. PUT SHOES ON before you go out
9. Let someone know WHERE you are going
10. NO NAKEDNESS outside room/bathroom
11. Look for ways to be KIND and HELPFUL
12. HONOR GOD in all your choices
We have these posted prominently in our kitchen and refer to them often. We also have rewards defined for following and punishments defined for breaking them.
Last of all, I like FLY Lady's system for staying on track. Her "Launchpad" ideas and child challenges help me teach positive habits for my DS7 (ADHD, Anxiety) be responsible for himself.
www.flylady.com
