My DD14 didn't really ENJOY interactions with other children until she was about 10yo.
Even then, it was mostly on a limited basis, and resulted in a lot of frustration for quite superficial interactions, ultimately.
The
first time I saw evidence of her own internally-constructed self-advocacy was when she, at 11mo, turned, planted both feet, and put BOTH palms squarely in front of her, shouting "NO!" The aggressor (a boy about 13mo) tumbled to the ground after colliding with her outstretched arms, which is apparently exactly what she intended.
I was mortified that my child had been involved in a "physical altercation" until the teacher explained the situation with a great deal of glee-- apparently this other child had been pursuing her for DAYS when she finally "snapped," given that she'd unsuccessfully tried using verbal and nonverbal means to get him to leave her alone. So she tried passive-- but assertive-- resistance. This is the day that she got her nickname of
Little Ghandi. She can
seem passive and easy-going to a fault, but she DOES have boundaries, and she will enforce them.
My DD was frequently
terrorized by roaming children
with food. They refused to respect boundaries-- and their parents were not responsive, either. It ruined the park for us for many years-- and even the library, as it happened. Being "hugged" by overly friendly children covered in a food allergen wasn't my idea of a good time-- nor my daughter's, either.
Eventually, I realized that my DD wasn't
pining for contact with other children. All this was doing was giving us both PTSD. (Which I realize sounds extreme, but imagine your own preschooler being chased by a peer holding a deadly weapon and then I think it makes more sense.) She was quite happy by herself, for the most part, and she certainly wasn't learning to be a spoiled brat simply by virtue of not being chased or assaulted by peers. Even as a teen, she will choose NO interaction over negative peer interactions. We talk a lot about boundaries and instincts.
We backed completely off of group activities unless they were HIGHLY structured (classes like KinderMusic were fine), and slowly re-entered that milieu once DD was about 7yo.
Introverts really can take-it-or-leave-it with social interactions. We don't need it or crave it.
