Sending you a huge hug Amy! We're not dealing with the same issues, so I don't have any really applicable advice (other than to commiserate over the time it takes and stresses involved in parenting 2e kids)... but fwiw, I am wondering if part of what's up is simply due to changes in routine (as well as stress over the pending move). My 2e ds functions soooo so much better when he's in his usual routine, and going on vacation can really throw him off - even if it's a great vacation like it sounds your ds has just had. Our ds almost without a doubt, when he was your ds' age, went through a total meltdown phase *after* our annual summer vacation where he had a chance to see his cousins and have a ton of relaxing, non-scheduled fun. It usually took a few weeks of getting him back into structured, full-scheduled busy days to get back to his usual "normal".
We've had friends (several different families) who used au-pairs and college students as their solution for child-care summer-through-winter and it worked out well, and in our area, it's about the same $ or less than after-school camps etc. They were able to have the students/au-pairs oversee homework, drive the kids to after-school therapies, lessons, etc, give the kids snacks, make lunches, etc - all kinds of things that wasn't just getting the kids to and from school and keeping them entertained with busy-stuff like life can turn into when you're relying on after-school care, then having to fit everything else into what limited time is left in the week.
I hope that things smooth out at the Y camp and your ds is able to stay there - and if that doesn't work out, I hope you're able to find a good solution that will work through the next school year too.
Best wishes,
polarbear
