doubtfulguest--I *LOVE* that--not just one jar, but a series! Wonderful! We're going to have to do some version of that, too. Plus DD loves reliving her successes, so it's another way to reinforce that from time to time.
Re the original post, I agree it sounds like testing. The only thing I would add is that I think it is best to clamp down on the open disrespect as much as possible (e.g., you can think it but you can't say it, that kind of thing). DD just spent some time with a cousin who has been allowed to continue showing disrespect to her dad and brother and now is pretty rude to men generally--although otherwise she's a great kid. It's just something that has grown into an ISSUE and I think if they had worked on it instead of brushing it or laughing it off it would not have.
Also, one more thought--vigorous physical activity to maybe help burn off some of the excess energy.
