This sounds more like testing his boundaries than a gifted issue. Have the rules of the house clearly defined, and the consequences for breaking the rules well established. Arguing about things like going to bed or brushing your teeth is a very quick trip to grounded-ville in my house. If that sort of behavior continues, they will quickly lose their allowance.
I agree.
Kids do these things from time to time. Some of them more than others, depending on their natural setpoint for autonomy.
Unfortunately, like NT children, HG+ ones also exercise profoundly bad judgment about consequences at least some of the time, meaning that one cannot always just let them do what THEY think is best.
They may know-- intellectually-- that eating no vitamin-C rich foods will lead to scurvy, or the purpose of dietary insoluble fiber... but that doesn't always translate into "I know that eating nothing but candy and pop-tarts is not good for me, so I will choose oatmeal and broccoli instead."
I'm not sure what this lack of practical connection is all about, not being a developmental expert. We've tried natural consequences, but sadly, if the consequences are too distant temporally, it doesn't make enough difference to offset the immediate reward (particularly in a highly autonomous child).
The rules may be
somewhat flexible, certainly. The child may have rational input about rules, even (and I do think that is important for HG kids).
However, only adult judgment is sufficient to determine
when and
how much the rules can be flexed. It's not a matter for negotiation. Not because of control, but because parents are stewards for the care and long-term well-being of children who lack life experience and adult perspective.
Anything less is expecting them to actually BE adults.
Once I explained this to my 4yo DD, she was
way more cooperative.
For a while, anyway.
