Wren, glad you understood that I'm really just ranting about what I see as a completely toxic culture.

Honestly-- DD has only a couple of "elite" schools on her wish list. We're fine with that. Supportive in the extreme. One of them is only there because we've encouraged her to apply there-- though we know she has about a 1% of actually wanting to GO there, if they'll offer her 30K a year, well then-- she can (hopefully) leverage that into a much better financial aid package elsewhere.



She wants to major in math (at least currently), and is otherwise undecided but leans (right now, again) toward poly-sci or the social sciences, but also has an interest in physics.

So who knows, right? With that set of interests, though, we're VERY wary of having her go to a tech-oriented school, though she'd probably be a reasonably good candidate for one.

My complaint is the same as that voiced by others occasionally-- like the science poster another member recently posted-- clearly done by the child. But will it be merely 'comparable' to that done by the other kids' parents? (Yuck.) Is it "too good" for others to understand that it is really the child's work?

My DD gets caught in the same net a lot. Adults/judges assume a level of involvement by expert mentors/parents which just isn't there. She really DOES do that stuff herself. So, seriously-- I think she compares pretty darned well with the efforts of her classmates' parents with masters degrees and PhD's. LOL.

I console myself with the thought that ultimately, we're raising a child who can self-regulate, and choose things for HERSELF, rather than for US (or anyone else). I hope that we're giving her a sense that she can do things 'right' without us doing them for her. That probably counts for something. At least I hope so.


Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.