[quote]
Ding ding ding! Yes. This is it exactly for DD. It's not so much that she would choose to do things so very differently. She just wants to make the choices herself.
BTW, I don't feel like being an adult feels like being in a prison at all. I think I have quite a lot of freedom and I appreciate it. I get why DD feels that she doesn't. We tell her what to eat, what she's going to do each day (largely), when to go to bed, what she can and can't do in the house, etc. And I don't think we're overly restrictive.
Would it be possible to identify a few things where she is able to make the decisions particularly something she feels strongly about - and then sit down and have her explain why she made the decision and then try it? Since its summer, you might be able to give her some more leeway and you might be surprised that her choice is effective rather than just not your choice.
Part of this maybe age. I remember my mom, whose view was to pick your battles and let the rest go, ltthough from my point of view, EVERYTHING was controlled.) When I wanted to wear make up at 13 she was against it but decided to take me to a make up artist thinking that if she was going to lose this battle (since I could put it on when I left the house) at least I would know how to do and perhaps would look less like something I shouldn't. Same thing when I wanted designer jeans, she told me the yearly clothing budget I wasnt particualrly aware of, gave me a credit card, and said go shopping. I spent my yearly budget on like 3 pairs of jeans and was fine with it. Which really surprised her. It taught her she could give me more free rein and I learned about money and credit cards as the bill came and had to be paid. But I was 16 at this time. So I am not sure how feasible this is with an 8yr old but maye this is the asynchrony at work - maybe she is ready for some preteen type independence which would not be granted because of the idea of age and maturity. Just athought, although I am probably in the ridiculously overprotective realizing I baby DS too much room right now, he is losing everything he owns at camp, likely because we have allowed him to be less than repsponsible, so might have to take me with a grain of salt here!!!
DeHe
