La Tex
Do you use the 'reset?'
Are you using the recognitions?
If you are doing both of those consistently, you may not need a credit system at all.
Or you can give him a penny everytime you give a recognition, and retire the day's pennys to a big jar at bedtime. The retired pennies wouldn't need to be used for anything, just a symbol to remind him of all the good choices he's made. Or you could let him add them up to a super reward, but my understanding is that the credit system is about 2 things, mainly:
1) To remind you to use the recognitions.
2) To create within you child the idea that he is doing so many things right. This is just like why people won't litter on a beautifully manicured lawn. If a person is 'almost' at a goal, they will find it most comfortable to work hard to get to the goal. Women who are judged to be close to our current idea of physical beauty spend more money on their appearance than women who would be judged to be farther away. (Someone told me that was studied, but I haven't got a link. I'd love one though.) I think the idea is called 'Cognitive Dissonance.' So if I think I'm a thoughtful kid who does things right, I feel creepy doing something thoughtless.
It's fine to 'ground' your child from this point of view. HG says that all punishments are a form of grounding, he thinks even spanking is mostly adversive because while you are being spanked, you aren't 'on life's playing field having fun.' Time outs are obviously grounding. So are 'sit there until you write 10 times, I shall not...' And if you want to keep grounding him until he's earned his 5 pennies for his purse, that's ok because it reminds you to recognize him at least 5 times, and gets him started on the right foot. But be sure to keep up the verbal recognitions even after he's earned his eight. It's like you are giving him an eight cent daily allowance.
There are hundreds of credit systems out there. Transforming is the only parenting approach I know where they recognize that most punishments that work pretty well for regular kids to help them 'learn a lesson' teach intense kids to misbehave more. Also that intense kids act out in order to get the energy jolt that they get while being punished, so that for this to work, one HAS to provide emotionally charged positive recognitions.
Imagine a kid who has eaten nothing but junk food their whole life. Living in a house with nothing but junk food. You can't just remove the junk food and expect the child to thrive. You have to go to the store and buy healthy food and get it to the table. Even if junk food is bad for a kid, no food at all is worse.
Remember
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dagger_of_the_Mind Classic Trek Episode? I remember watching it as a kid and thinking 'yes, I've experienced that.' I think that's the sort of think our kids are feeling when they decide that 'junk attention' is better than no attention.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
