Hey,
I know there is a lot of advice out there, but what has worked very well for us (at home) is a pretty much common-sense technique explained and taught by Positive Parenting Solutions (available online, and recommended by one of a long string of psychologists--the string is for various reasons). This is the basic idea we follow and it works great for DD8--you give the kid a choice whenever possible, discuss (or remind) what will happen with each choice, lay out the consequences of making a 'bad' choice, and let the natural/logical consequences follow! However, you *must* follow through promptly. We have done this and it has really helped give DD a sense of autonomy and responsibility, although it is definitely an ongoing process. But the technique seems to fit with us, and her.
Best of luck,
Dbat
