I finally had the meltdown email moment this past week, so you're not alone. I'm helping you row that boat.
My son is 2e, missed the cutoff for gifted by one point so is currently being served in special ed only for his deficiencies. And even with a boatload of accommodations, it was still the most stressful challenge I've faced yet to keep him from failing two of his core classes for zeros - due to the school failing to comply with accommodations, teachers changing the rules without notifying me, and the special ed chair retiring and letting things slide so that it was me squeaking the wheel or nothing at all.
Here is a thought to consider - even if you get accommodations (and they do help), it is not going to solve the problem. Your child is still going to be bored, and it will only get worse as the subject material gets more pedantic with each new year. It is because of this realization that I'm getting my son retested by a neuropsych this summer to see if we can't get him qualified for gifted and for accommodations - and getting him either out of the mainstream classes for his core subjects or at least giving him more opportunities to be creative in them.
I couldn't tell from your posts, but if you have insurance, it will often pay for the neuropsych evaluations (which need the IQ testing as part of the process) if there is a medical concern - i.e. memory processing, etc. So if you can get a psychiatrist to recommend a full neurypsych eval to find the root of the 2e challenges, your insurance just might cover it. I understand the medical expenses - we've been there, and you just have to deal with what you can. But it might be worth pursuing to see if you can get insurance to cover the testing.
And as to the meltdown, his math teacher called me that afternoon after she read it. I started to apologize for the this-is-so-frustrating diatribe when she stopped me. I really appreciate what she said, "When you are the parent of a twice exceptional child, you do not have the luxury of not being 'that parent', because if you aren't going the extra mile to advocate and hold the school accountable, who will? Half the teachers will think your child is playing them and the other half will be annoyed at the extra work being required by them for a kid who is obviously bright. Only a few will understand the real gaps they're dealing with and accept and teach the 'whole child'. So you continue being 'that parent' and make sure the school knows that you won't get tired and give up."
She's one of the good teachers, but there were plenty this year who pushed back, and pushed back hard the closer it got to the end of the year, when it came to accommodating my son.
So just keep pushing and doing what you need to do. It's not a popularity contest. It's just what you've had put on your plate to have to do. I didn't ever want to be "that parent", but I don't really have a choice. Sometimes we're not really given a choice - just a mission in life. And this seems to be ours.
