My heart goes out to you. 2E issues are difficult to deal with. I want to caution you that a high "IQ" score won't necessarily get you the reaction that you want/need. My oldest was 2E and I still remmember the comments that flew at the IEP meetings. The sad part is that I couldn't completely blame them because high IQs don't impress me either. My point is that what these teachers/adminstrators/counselers/nurses are looking for is the likelihood that the student will succeed.
Despite your DD's reluctance, I think the best course of action is to prepare her for the school's multiple-choice tests so that she can clear the hurdle. From the test numbers that you provided, I believe that with the right encouragement preparation and mindset, your DD could pass the school's hurdles.
As for DYS, I can't say whether they would be helpful for 2E issues, but they do provide a family consultant who does advise on advocacy issues. My DYS is not 2E, so I have no personal knowledge in that regard. However, if you look at the application materials, they indicate consideration of other factors. I would imagine that age (your DD is on the younger end) and ADHD would be taken into consideration. The application itself is fairly short and you only need 1 recomendation. If you can throw a portfolio of four items together, it may be worth an attempt to apply without the IQ scores. The worse DYS can do is say no and if you really want to go to the time/expense, you can do an IQ test later and try again.
I hope the situation improves for you. Middle school is reputedly the worse. By high school, the academic options improve considerably.
