I agree with much of what everyone has said and I know how frustrating this is. One thought I had that just keeps popping into my head is how long is a 3 year old supposed to sit still. My DS's issues like the one's you describe did not really start for him until regular school. He went to play based preschool and while they had some group time, they had a lot of choices on what they wanted to do and that seemed to work for my DS. He still went to K a grade level or two above the other kids in both reading and math. I think it is right to consider what it is about your DS that does not make him fit fit their program, but also to think about what is not right with that program that does not fit your DS. 3 also seems really young for kids to start judging other kids to me - so the teachers must be doing a great job of convincing them that he is a trouble maker.
