Well you pretty much described my son's pre-school experience. He had zero impulse control and was defiant of authority. I almost lost my job having to pick him up from school so much. His father and I were separating at the time so I'm sure that contributed. He actually told teachers he was going to be bad so I would lose my job so I had to stay home with him. It was a horrible & terrible time. Over 2 1/2 years (he's 6 now) I fought medication and tried gluten free, dairy free, organic, dye free any type of diet. Moderate success and I still limit sugar and go organic whenever I can. It was only after 2 years I relented and tried medication. For us it took a bit but it helps him. I'm glad I took the time to try every other option before I resorted to medication. However I only did so after meeting with a PHD in child psychology & a MD board certified in her field for 2 years. At 6 he's come so far. I even paid the PHD to observe a full school day to help figure out his school issues. They were invaluable in giving me advice on how to be the best parent I could be. DS6 has an IEP and his impulse control has improved greatly. His school district is wonderful and has provided support for both him and I at every stage. In the past weeks he's been evaluated for autism/aspergers and there's a possibility that while gifted he has some issues with social skill that have caused a lot of our problems.
I guess the point of my rambling is that it gets better. We're working on a plan to remove the medication after he's settled in the gifted program and we've got a solid IEP to support him. I read your post and remember how horrible those school meetings were. AWFUL! Everyday I felt like I was failing as a Mom. Even worse my kiddo being pointed out as the "bad" kid by children at the school. Watching him go through the guilt of having a bad day or a meltdown after he calmed down was heartbreaking.
Hang in there, my kiddo made it through just fine. He's not perfect and we still have rough days but persistence helps.
