A general question is to what extent parents should try to influence and regulate the personal lives of their grown-up children.
Ahh, well...this thread isn't about adults. The OP was referring to a thirteen-year-old girl. I'm not sure that this is the right thread for a general discussion about parents and their adult children.
By "grown-up" I meant post-puberty and having the mental age of an adult. Gifted children can reach the latter milestone in their early teens.
Guess I'm going to disagree with you there. I don't think that being post-pubescent makes you an adult. Teenagers I've known (including pretty much every HG+ one I've ever met, and including people with IQs north of 160) have been a long way from being grownups.
Being able to read classic books or talk about politics doesn't make you a grownup. Being a grownup comes from having a body of life experiences that you've learned from, and simple arithmetic keeps this out of reach for 14-17-year-olds who live at home, haven't had babies, haven't had to pay bills every month, buy supplies for themselves, find housing, or get something done repeatedly without adult supervision, etc. etc. etc. Plus, there is also the issue of brain development, which continues into the 20s. Most 18 year-olds aren't really adults in the true sense of the word, though they're old enough to start feeling their way by that point.
